dear 2018…

Dear 2018,

thinking of you made me feel awkward because it somehow felt as if you were not completed yet, until I noticed that it was just me, being not happy with myself, as always… But you taught me to stand up for myself. You taught me that it’s fine to be sad sometimes as long as I don’t lose hope and manage to be happy again. You taught me that some people are not meant to be in my life and that it’s okay to let them go their own ways. You made me cry and overthink but you also put people into my life that wiped away those tears and made me laugh again. There were a lot of changes this year that had to  be done and I am thankful that you made them happen, so I didn’t have to decide to let go certain things by myself. I finally got to live the life in Canada I have dreamed half of my life of, and I can’t express how happy I am for this opportunity and the people I met here.

A lot of times I didn’t know what was going on, but you taught me to simply trust in god’s plan. You showed me that telling the truth and being honest is so important and that people really appreciate honesty. You tried to teach me that being relaxed is better than stressing myself about unnecessary things, although I still have to work on that particular point. 

You showed me that friends and family are the best thing ever and that even though I am not with all of them right now, it doesn’t mean that they love me less.

I feel like I have changed and developed a lot this year, which also made me question who I am sometimes, but I guess that’s part of the process.

You showed me that love, kindness, work effort and humour are the most importand things and that they really help you in life.

2018… you definitly taught me a lot and I am super thankful for that. I still don’t know why my attitude towards you is not the best, probably because I have experienced so many different emotions this year that there is not only happiness coming up when I think about you, but happiness is absolutely involved! There are a lot of incredible things that happened in 2018, but because I always worry too much, I can’t really enjoy them sometimes. I am working on that and it is probably my most important and only point that I want to improve in 2019; live the moment. Life happens so fast and some wise person once said „worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.“ I want to be free from worrying too much. Life happens and I can deal with problems when they are there, not beforehand! Thinking ahead is helpful sometimes, but not always the best thing to do!

 

Thank you, that you went the way you did and thanks for being over:)

Xoxo

STELLA

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